Jokes SMS Collection

Posted in Labels:
7:01 PM
Santa- Doctor saab 1 pareshani hain ki main jab bhi nahata hoon geela ho jata hu!
Doctor - kal se nahate samay nal band kar liya karo.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 Knjus hath me Blade se cut maar rha tha
Wife-ye kya kr rhe ho?
Knjus-DETOL ki shishi foot gayi h
Aise hi thodi waste hone denge,La teri b ungli katu.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a conversation going between sir & student:
Sir:Why haven’t u come to school yesterday?
Student:Sir! there was a quarrel between my parents that’s why
Sir: So what happened if your parents quarrel?
Student: Sir! one shoe was in my mother’s hand and one on my father’s that’s why I didn’t had any shoes and was unable to come to school.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An error shown by a computer:
"No keyboard found.
Press any key to continue...."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Teacher – What do we
call a man with 2 knees.?Santa – ‘Dho’ni
Teacher – What.?
Ok tell me what do
we call a knee of a child.?Santa – mmmm..’Kid’ney…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TEACHER – Can you Tell
me 2 creatures which
Do Not have Teeth.
PAPPU – I’ll tell ma’am.
Teacher – Good. Tell me.
Pappu – Grandma and Grandpa. . .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Manager: A room with double bed? But sir you are alone?
Santa: Yes, It is just that I wish to enjoy the silence from the other bed
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hight of Addiction:-


Just b4 hanging judge asked the prisoner " Urs any last wish!"


Prisoner:- 'YES" I Want to update my "FACEBOOK" status as "Died"..
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50 Funny Facts About Rajinikanth

Posted in Labels:
12:54 AM
50 Funny Facts About Rajinikanth


1. Rajni Irons his shirt while he is wearing them!
2. Sun doesn't rise until Rajinikant says 'Good Morning'
3. Rajnikanth leaves a messages before the Beep!
4. While shooting a movie, Rajni kicked a Pebble, and now that Pebble is known as Sri Lanka.
5. Rajinikanth farted and from then that Fart is known as Rajinigandha.. :)
6. Rajinikanth wrote a check without any Bank Balance and the check Bounced.!
7. Rajinikanth wears goggles so that the Sun does not gets burned.
8. Rajnikanth can make Onions cry.
9. Rajnikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.
10. Rajnikanth killed the Dead Sea.
11. The New symbol for Rupees is acutally Rajinikanth's Signature.
12. Rajinikant never pays Attention, Attention pays him!
13. Alfred Noble was nominated for Rajinikanth Award.
14. Rajinikanth doesn't needs condom, cauz there is nothing he needs called "Protection"
15. Rajinikant once got into a fight with a VCR Player. Nows it plays DVDs.
16. When Rajinikant was asked why he never goes to bathroom, he replied, "Whatever Happens in Rajini, stays in Rajini"
17. Rajini is so hot that the cigarette burns before it is lit!
18. Rajinikanth once strangled a person with a Cordless phone!!
19. Rajinikant has just counted till Infinity Twice!!
20. (Adult One) Rajinikanth F****D his wife so hard that after nine months a Pregnant Daughter was born!!!
21. Rajinikanth was shot. The Next Day, there was the Bullet's Funeral.
22. Intel's New Tag is - "Rajinikanth Inside"
23. Dussehra Wishes "Happy Rajini" to everyone!
24. A Basketball Player was Spinning ball on his fingertip and aksed Rajini "Can you do it?" Rajini replied, "Yanna Rascala, How do you think the Earth Spins??"
25. Rajini knows the Colour of Water.
26. Rajinikant can open Facebook profile on Orkut.
27. There is only one thing that Rajini can't do. He cannot Lose.
28. Rajinikanth doesn't wears a watch, it is He who decides what time it is.
29. Rajinikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile.
30. Rajinikanth is so fast that he can run around the World and Punch himself in the back of his Head!
31. There is no Theory of Evolution. Just a list of some creates that Rajinikanth allowed to live!
32. Rajinikanth is so Flexible that he can lick his Elbow!
33. Rajinikanth has 12 moons. One of the moons is Earth!
34. Rajini takes only 20 Minutes to watch a 3 Hours Movie!!!
35. The Bermuda Triangle was Bermuda Square before Rajinikanth kicked one of its Corners!
36. Rajinikant once ate an Entire Bottle of Sleeping pills. They made him Blink!! :)
37. Times waits for no man unless that man is Rajini.
38. There is no such thing as Global Warming. Rajinikanth was feeling cold, so he Turned the Sun Up!
39. If at first you don't succeed, you are not Rajinikanth.
40. Rajini can Judge a Book by its Cover!
41. Rajinikant uses Pepper Spray as his Eye Drop.
42. When Rajini does a Pushup, he isn't pulling himself, he is pushing the Earth down!
43. Rajini's house has no doors, only wall that he walks through.
44. Rajinikanth can Divide by ZERO.
45. Rajini grinds his Coffee with his teeth and then boils the water with his own Rage.!
46. There is no "CTRL" Button on Rajinikanth's Computer. He is Always in Control.
47. Years ago, a bear came across Rajini. It was very much terrified and ran towards the North, into the Arctic. It was so Terrified that all of his hair Descendants now have white hair!
48. Rajini doesn't bown Strikes. He just knocks down one Pin and the other nine Faint.
49. Rajinikanth ordered a Ham Burger at Pizza Hut and got it.
50. Actually, There is no thing that our RAJINI Cant.. :-D
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RAJNIKANT SMS COLECTION 1

Posted in Labels:
12:51 AM
1.There's nothing like recession, it's just that Rajnikanth started saving some money..!
2. RAJNIKANT knows VICTORIA'S SECRET
3. God created Women so that Men may fall in Love..!!God created RAJNI so that Women may fall in Love!!!
4. Rajni can survive heavy doses of poison n radiation...And even without his head for 9 days!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. Where do we get steel wool from..??
 From the sheep in Rajni's farm..!!
2. A hair from Rajni's moustache can cure AIDS...
But scientists don't know how to shave it off...
 3. Rajni can kick u on ur face...
With his hands!!!
 4. There's nothing like a hurricane...
Just Rajni proving the point that he can do Ballet...!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. Rajnikant has counted till infinite.............twice
 LY
2. Once a girl lost her virginity...... Rajnikanth got it back!
3. Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door

AND FINALY
4. Rajni once wrote a cheque, the bank bounced..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some facts about Rajnikanth that we never knew :
1. When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn't lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down.
2. Only Rajnikanth can divide by zero
3. When Rajanikanth stands in front of glass, it shatters, because no one  can come between Rajanikanth n Rajanikanth

MIND ITTTTT  !!!!
RASCALA !!
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Love SMS COLECTION 1

Posted in Labels:
11:11 AM
People say Im stone hearted
Yes im
Bcoz
Anything writting on stone
Will stay forever
So people who r in my heart
Will remain there forever
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I want that only one thing come between I and U and remain forever..that is LOVE,
bcoz i can"t live without u..... so,
"I LOVE U"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mohabat karna humne aap se shikha hai
par kya kare galti se aap se hi mohabat karne lage
log khete hai pyar main sub kuch map hota hai
I MISS YOU
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When u walked into my life
I never know u would become an integral part of it.
thanks for being there
and sorting out all of my problems…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 Real love is not based on romance & candle light dinner & walks along d beach.
Infact it is based on RESPECT, COMPROMISE,
CARE &TRUST..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SHORT AND CUTE :
“An empty message aslo looks special
when u truly like the person who send u………..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pls Don't Call Me In My MOBILE
Call Me In My HEART
I Open Direct Line 4 U In My Heart
Take The Numbers
143
I Love U
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Care n love is not a business where you give when you get..
It is a beautiful feeling for someone where u love to give even if u dont get. .
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Good Luck SMS COLECTION 1

Posted in Labels:
2:31 AM
May God stay with u this day
&
give u peace of mind.
May God give u a happy heart
&
his love all the time. Good luck 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
Care for the one who shares with U,
Share with the one who knows U,
Know the one who misses U,
MISS the one who well wishes for U,
Wish u a very Good Luck!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meaning of some colors,
Yellow for special friend,
white for peace,
orange 4 luck,
black for hate,
red for love and
pink for likeness,
So i choose for u Orange Flower.
Wish u good luck
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Khuda tujhe urooj aisa naseeb kare,
kay rashk tere naseeb per falak kare,
har more per frishtay hon sath tere,
har ghum per hifazat tairi khuda kare…
best wishes forever & good luck
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Trusting God won’t make the mountain smaller
but
it will make climbing easier.
Hope you will be able to climb
all your mountains always.
Good Luck
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When things go wrong…
when sadness fills ur heart…
when tears flow in ur eyes…always remember 3 things
1—GOD
2—ur parents
3—my sincere prayers…..
GOOD LUCK
&
God bless u.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Happiness as light as air.
LOVE as DEEP as OCEAN.
Friends as solid as diamonds and
success as bright as gold.
These r my wishes 4 you today n everyday…
Good luck
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Rain of summer, snow of winter,
grace of autumn, glory of spring,
May beauty of every season
give ur heart a beautiful reason 2 smile.
May God suceed u in every exams of ur life.
Good luck & all the best
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Good Night SMS Collection 1

Posted in Labels:
11:42 AM
On this cold cold nite,
in My small small ROOm,
i Look At The Brite Brite StArS 
iN tHe DaRk DaRk sKy 
& DrEaM of YouR sWeet sWeet SmiLe on 
ur CuTe CuTe FaCe! 
GdNiTe!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
Apun 1 sher bolega:
chand uper se phenk raha hai light
Bole to ho gai hai night
Band karneka light
or sone ka ek dam tight
Bole to kya.
good 9i8!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
 Welcome aboard to “Sweet Dreams” airline,
All passengers on bed hug ur pillows,
As the flight will be leaving soon to dream land.
Enjoy your time…“Good night”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
Hi Moon,
My friend is going to sleep.
Tell to ur's brother sun to raise
Tomorrow late becoz my friend wants More relaax.
Good Night
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
For A Nice Frnd Nice Night
For A Sweet Frnd Sweet Night
For A Loving Frnd Lovly Night
For A Heartly Frnd Hertly Night
For A Good Frnd "Good Night" 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Saying gudnite is not just putting
an end to a day.Its a way of saying ,
I remember u before i go 2 sleep.
Hope u can feel the care that goes with it….
GOOD NIGHT
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
A day is going to end again.
It is nice to have a friend like U
making my everyday seems so great.
Thank U my good friend lastly
good night n sweet dreams…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
You are the reason
why I have sleepless nights.
You are the reason why
I tend to hold my pillow tight.
And you are the reason
I can’t sleep without saying goodnight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
Take a glass of sugar
and put it in your eyes
so you will have sweet dreams!
If you want masala dreams,
then try chilly powder!
Good night
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Friendship Day SMS

Posted in
1:10 AM

Friendship Day SMS

1935.Friendship day--In 1935, USA Govt had killed a man on 1st Saturday of August.
--Next Day his friend died comiting suicide in his memory.
--USA Govt had declared 1st Sunday of every August as Friendship Day "
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A friend is sweet when it is new. 
And it is sweeter when it is true. 
But you know what?
It is sweetest when it is u.
Happy Friendship Day
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A coin is easy to earn, a friend is hard to find. 
The coin depreciates but a friend appreciates. 
I lost a coin when I smsed u, 
but it's okay because I got u.
Happy Friendship Day
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~What is a friend? 
She looks out 4 u, inspires u,
laughs with u, cries with u, 
understands u, guides u 
and walks with u. 
That's what a friend is... u. 
Happy Friendship Day 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I won't promise to be ur friend forever, 
coz I won't live that long. 
But let me be ur friend as long as I live
Happy Friendship Day
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
True friends are like Diamonds... 
they are real & rare. 
False friends r like leaves...
they r scattered everywhere.
Happy Friendship Day
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We gain & lose things every day. 
But trust me on 1 thing: 
U WILL NEVER LOSE ME! 
I will always b there as a friend! 
Happy Friendship Day
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If u r a chocolate ur the sweetest,
if u r a Teddy Bear u r the most huggable,
If u r a Star u r the Brightest, and 
since u r my “FRIEND” 
u r the “BEST”!!!!!!!!! 
Happy Friendship Day
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sometimes, I forget to say hi,
Sometimes, I even miss to reply,
Sometimes, my msg doesn't reach u,
But, it doesn't mean that I forget u,
I’m just giving u time to miss me!
Happy Friendship Day
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